Catch up.

First off I hate condiments. done.

Been working on the yard a lot, been on a domestic kick I guess. I even got as extreme as coffee's and a Princess House party.. When the fuck did that happen? I think I am teetering dangerously close to suburbia here.

I feel like being alone a lot lately. I opened a new Fort Drum message board and in the middle of my good intentions got totally suck in the loser drama crap. I've had enough of that for this lifetime, and I hope its done. Somehow I doubt it. Anyway it got to the point that I just didn't even want to answer the phone or flip open the laptop. Scary. I can't believe I let people I don't even really know get so far under my skin. I know who I am and what I'm about, why do I feel the need to care what these people think? Just knowing that I gave up the power pisses me off.

"My lifestyle determines my deathstyle" I'm watching the Metallica Documentary and that was just a lyric I'd never caught before. Interesting...

Dave and I are ok, back to our normal comfortable distance I guess. Its not ideal, but its realistic. He has been in the field a lot so he's tired. Yep, that again.... We need to talk, I know we do. Not sure how to do it, how to reconnect, but we are on a slippery slope. I just don't think that even if we talk it out anything will change. But it scares me that when he's home, I'm not as happy as I should be. Its hard to explain. I think its like Sarah says. "How can I miss you if you don't go away?" Yes girl, you are wise. I hear a lot more of what you say than you think I do. Now THAT.... is a scary thought.

Try the veal!